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05.22.12 ♥ 2
Zoom Vacation I have been putting my beliefs in an over all per-perspective. As I’m sure many can relate, I was raised on the bible. It has been a lifelong journey differentiating my personal beliefs from my family’s. Whether is was the Koran or the Torah it wouldn’t have made a difference. I’ve discovered I’m not alone in this and many still struggle into their adulthood with their spiritual identity. I am getting closer and closer to a distinctive me And finding I don’t like some parts of myself. For example my life long tendency to over analyze. I mean the shit has been bothering me since I can remember. Being isolated from my family has highlighted who I really am. It WOULD be great if I could get a break from myself. If it were possible to shut myself out just for a moment. My analytical habits are here to stay and not because I’m too comfortable or anal to change. But its become clear to me that its very much apart of my psyche. For the past few months I have been thinking of ways to escape myself. I have prayed, done breathing exercises, and considered yoga. But what I’m looking for is the impossible. Which is to literally break free of my physical being. Only for a vacation. Sometimes Im just tired of my personality, my voice especially. I don’t know if I’m alone on this. But if someone has come up with a solution to this dilemma. I can’t be the only one struggling with me.

Vacation
I have been putting my beliefs in an over all per-perspective. As I’m sure many can relate, I was raised on the bible. It has been a lifelong journey differentiating my personal beliefs from my family’s. Whether is was the Koran or the Torah it wouldn’t have made a difference. I’ve discovered I’m not alone in this and many still struggle into their adulthood with their spiritual identity. I am getting closer and closer to a distinctive me And finding I don’t like some parts of myself. For example my life long tendency to over analyze. I mean the shit has been bothering me since I can remember. Being isolated from my family has highlighted who I really am. It WOULD be great if I could get a break from myself. If it were possible to shut myself out just for a moment. My analytical habits are here to stay and not because I’m too comfortable or anal to change. But its become clear to me that its very much apart of my psyche. For the past few months I have been thinking of ways to escape myself. I have prayed, done breathing exercises, and considered yoga. But what I’m looking for is the impossible. Which is to literally break free of my physical being. Only for a vacation. Sometimes Im just tired of my personality, my voice especially. I don’t know if I’m alone on this. But if someone has come up with a solution to this dilemma. I can’t be the only one struggling with me.

04.22.12 ♥ 0
Zoom Later I would like to talk much deeper about my discovery and interest in “fashion design”. Specifically because I made it clear through the years how much I despise the fashion world and curl at sewing machines. I have figured it out but I am still walking through this journey so I’m not quit done yet. I would like to express how good it feels to come to a decision. As indecisive as I may not want to admit,it took me awhile to figure out exactly what I wanted to go to school for.  I knew what I loved and I had too many hobbies to count. I couldn’t figure out how to interchange them all in one shot. I didn’t know where to start because all my hobbies had a dominant filed to it that could carry its own weight. It was when I began making accessories that it became clear to me that I have a special way of thinking. Not only do I need to challenge this but I need to find the people who will allow this to happen. Damn how in the hell am I going to do that. I have the puzzle pieces I just can’t figure out the bigger picture. Which was how can I transfer all my wonderful goals and ideas into a successful career. To make things simple I always disregarded money (for the most part). It never occurred to me that I would have a problem making money. There are some people who are destined to win and luckily for me I have parents who taught this to me.  I would only add another life time of puzzles if I tried to integrate the things that excite me-with money. Sometimes there is no way to mesh the two. In the event that I came to an epiphany that I had to be my own boss. Instantly I knew I needed to go to school for art and business. There are so many crazy things that go on in my head I would love to bring them out within this lifetime. Its beautiful to discover a fracture of your life that’s been waiting to be brought to your attention. This small piece answers so many questions which ultimately opens doors and closes a few to some unsolved mysteries. That is what I am going through right now and its wonderful. It feels good to be back in school and I varied size puzzle pieces to lighten my load. I have found the missing pieces in my closet and I’m going to hold onto them tightly.

Later I would like to talk much deeper about my discovery and interest in “fashion design”. Specifically because I made it clear through the years how much I despise the fashion world and curl at sewing machines. I have figured it out but I am still walking through this journey so I’m not quit done yet. I would like to express how good it feels to come to a decision. As indecisive as I may not want to admit,it took me awhile to figure out exactly what I wanted to go to school for.  I knew what I loved and I had too many hobbies to count. I couldn’t figure out how to interchange them all in one shot. I didn’t know where to start because all my hobbies had a dominant filed to it that could carry its own weight.

It was when I began making accessories that it became clear to me that I have a special way of thinking. Not only do I need to challenge this but I need to find the people who will allow this to happen. Damn how in the hell am I going to do that. I have the puzzle pieces I just can’t figure out the bigger picture. Which was how can I transfer all my wonderful goals and ideas into a successful career.

To make things simple I always disregarded money (for the most part). It never occurred to me that I would have a problem making money. There are some people who are destined to win and luckily for me I have parents who taught this to me.  I would only add another life time of puzzles if I tried to integrate the things that excite me-with money. Sometimes there is no way to mesh the two.

In the event that I came to an epiphany that I had to be my own boss. Instantly I knew I needed to go to school for art and business. There are so many crazy things that go on in my head I would love to bring them out within this lifetime. Its beautiful to discover a fracture of your life that’s been waiting to be brought to your attention. This small piece answers so many questions which ultimately opens doors and closes a few to some unsolved mysteries. That is what I am going through right now and its wonderful. It feels good to be back in school and I varied size puzzle pieces to lighten my load. I have found the missing pieces in my closet and I’m going to hold onto them tightly.

01.18.12 ♥ 19
Zoom Last month I wrote breifly about my new found “loneliness” of living on my own. Which is what many would refer to me being alone day in and day out with no computer,television, or company. I of course don’t limit loneliness to those few fators. I am alone but not exactly lonely. It is in fact one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. I have choices and the option to surround myself with people I enjoy. I am not in the company of most by default. I have the opportunity to breath and think within my own space, without the disruption of anothers presence. I was beginning to think I was anti-social and in denial. I was so easily annoyed with my family member’s presence and I was getting sick to my stomach of children running around. But being alone has given me a clear persepctive on what I really needed. The idea of no one around to slice through my thought process before I even get a chance to complete one; is just…There are no words to describe how amazing I feel to be alone. I have a big family that I can not escape if I tried, they will always love and care for me through thick and thin. I have recognized that as a beautiful quality that I should appreciate. Its just I need my space. I have always made a point to seperate myself to my sanctuary; which was whatever space that I called my own at the time. I tried to do what I could to collect myself before I got short with the next person. But it never happened, I never got the time to myself to get a breather. It was family time all the time. Luckily before I did explode I finally have that time and space I wanted. It gives me the opportunity to humble myself and think before I act. Its a blessing to have a family to call your own I’m aware of this. But Im glad I’m able to remove myself from whatever circumstance I can’t control when it comes to family. I now understand that I need to take control of my own life before I try to heed on the burdens of others.

Last month I wrote breifly about my new found “loneliness” of living on my own. Which is what many would refer to me being alone day in and day out with no computer,television, or company. I of course don’t limit loneliness to those few fators. I am alone but not exactly lonely. It is in fact one of the most amazing things I have ever experienced. I have choices and the option to surround myself with people I enjoy. I am not in the company of most by default. I have the opportunity to breath and think within my own space, without the disruption of anothers presence. I was beginning to think I was anti-social and in denial. I was so easily annoyed with my family member’s presence and I was getting sick to my stomach of children running around.

But being alone has given me a clear persepctive on what I really needed. The idea of no one around to slice through my thought process before I even get a chance to complete one; is just…There are no words to describe how amazing I feel to be alone. I have a big family that I can not escape if I tried, they will always love and care for me through thick and thin. I have recognized that as a beautiful quality that I should appreciate. Its just I need my space. I have always made a point to seperate myself to my sanctuary; which was whatever space that I called my own at the time. I tried to do what I could to collect myself before I got short with the next person. But it never happened, I never got the time to myself to get a breather. It was family time all the time.

Luckily before I did explode I finally have that time and space I wanted. It gives me the opportunity to humble myself and think before I act. Its a blessing to have a family to call your own I’m aware of this. But Im glad I’m able to remove myself from whatever circumstance I can’t control when it comes to family. I now understand that I need to take control of my own life before I try to heed on the burdens of others.

01.14.12 ♥ 76
Zoom My (effective) 28 ways of staying creative 1. Eat candy bars 2. Sort through a pile of old photos 3. Organize your recent pile of paperwork 4. Make a page in your scrapbook 5. Catch up with an old friend 6. Search through a friends FB photos (I have found this to be less creepy but more inspiring) 7. Look at your own FB photos 8. Make a video about your day/weekend 9. Pull out your glue and do an art project 10. Dye/rinse your hair 11. Change your hairstyle/get a haircut 12. Play dress up 13. Tie dye an old pair of jeans 14. Relax and organize your thoughts 15. Make a pair of earrings for yourself 16. Write in your diary 17. Read an old children’s book 18. Visit a historical monument 19. Pull out your thread and needle and make a shirt or skirt (this will probably take all day but are for people like me who hate sewing machines) 20. Set you clothes out for the next week 21. Sell something on craigslist or eBay 22. Have a yard sale 23. Have a photo shoot in your kitchen 24. Paint a room a vibrant color 25. Play in a children’s park 26. Network at a festival or trunk show 27. Practice using photoshop 28. Write a short story This list was generated after reading “”33 ways to stay creative”. I decided I wanted to make a list based off of my realistic comings and goings. These are things that I’m most likely going to do. I read over them and really thought I should share. I know there is someone out there who, like me, is suffering from “in home syndrome” and finds time to never leave the house. It happens at different times of our lives. I am in the middle of a move so I am doing a lot of waiting. It’s sickening how much time we waist inside doing the same ole. During this its like time is dragging along and we are waiting for something to happen. While our mind is in a scramble we should take advantage and get creative. Because you never know it might actually get you off the computer and out of the house.

My (effective) 28 ways of staying creative

1. Eat candy bars 2. Sort through a pile of old photos 3. Organize your recent pile of paperwork 4. Make a page in your scrapbook 5. Catch up with an old friend 6. Search through a friends FB photos (I have found this to be less creepy but more inspiring) 7. Look at your own FB photos 8. Make a video about your day/weekend 9. Pull out your glue and do an art project 10. Dye/rinse your hair 11. Change your hairstyle/get a haircut 12. Play dress up 13. Tie dye an old pair of jeans 14. Relax and organize your thoughts 15. Make a pair of earrings for yourself 16. Write in your diary 17. Read an old children’s book 18. Visit a historical monument 19. Pull out your thread and needle and make a shirt or skirt (this will probably take all day but are for people like me who hate sewing machines) 20. Set you clothes out for the next week 21. Sell something on craigslist or eBay 22. Have a yard sale 23. Have a photo shoot in your kitchen 24. Paint a room a vibrant color 25. Play in a children’s park 26. Network at a festival or trunk show 27. Practice using photoshop 28. Write a short story

This list was generated after reading “”33 ways to stay creative”. I decided I wanted to make a list based off of my realistic comings and goings. These are things that I’m most likely going to do. I read over them and really thought I should share. I know there is someone out there who, like me, is suffering from “in home syndrome” and finds time to never leave the house. It happens at different times of our lives. I am in the middle of a move so I am doing a lot of waiting. It’s sickening how much time we waist inside doing the same ole. During this its like time is dragging along and we are waiting for something to happen. While our mind is in a scramble we should take advantage and get creative. Because you never know it might actually get you off the computer and out of the house.

10.19.11 ♥ 34
Zoom Its interesting to watch yourself transform and grow through a relationship. It can also be comical to be quoted on constantly. I have had to go back on my words and actions so many times to count, because of my real progression in opinions and outlooks. To compare what I thought and felt in the beginning of my relationship to now is almost laughable. But much more interesting as I stated to be able to take note of my growth through my relationship. I was always one to read magazines and plenty online articles. I was obsessed with being a “good girlfriend” and perfect lover. I was all about preparing myself and being ahead of the game. Little did I know that my fathers teachings and my own vigorous research was no preparation for what I actual undertook for 4 years. I became more familiar with the Nigerian culture after I fell madly in love with my partner Shola. It never dawned across me until after I realized I couldn’t live without this person that I couldn’t possibly love this person without loving every thing that had to do with them. Including their family and background. In the beginning it was more of a I-need-to-get-by and generally I wasn’t yet interested in where he came from. But what happens when you grow with someone you are forced to intertwine who they really are; their culture especially. Of course you are not obliged to take on anyone’s lifestyle especially when its by force. But what I grew to learn is that when you REALLY love someone you want to be apart of everything that has to do with them. Ultimately it will bring you closer and extend your knowledge of what love really is. I on the other hand have the honor of learning  a whole language with out classes or having to travel to another country. That in itself is a blessing (I realized much later on). Here I am extremely welcoming and open to another’s life because I am that in-tuned with them. Its beautiful. I do have to thank my dad for being there and Cosmo for preparing me for the insignificant  things that I would have learned on my own anyway. I must say there is nothing like actually going through it and not reading how to go through it. Its amazing and something I would not trade in for the world.

Its interesting to watch yourself transform and grow through a relationship. It can also be comical to be quoted on constantly. I have had to go back on my words and actions so many times to count, because of my real progression in opinions and outlooks. To compare what I thought and felt in the beginning of my relationship to now is almost laughable. But much more interesting as I stated to be able to take note of my growth through my relationship.

I was always one to read magazines and plenty online articles. I was obsessed with being a “good girlfriend” and perfect lover. I was all about preparing myself and being ahead of the game. Little did I know that my fathers teachings and my own vigorous research was no preparation for what I actual undertook for 4 years.

I became more familiar with the Nigerian culture after I fell madly in love with my partner Shola. It never dawned across me until after I realized I couldn’t live without this person that I couldn’t possibly love this person without loving every thing that had to do with them. Including their family and background. In the beginning it was more of a I-need-to-get-by and generally I wasn’t yet interested in where he came from. But what happens when you grow with someone you are forced to intertwine who they really are; their culture especially. Of course you are not obliged to take on anyone’s lifestyle especially when its by force. But what I grew to learn is that when you REALLY love someone you want to be apart of everything that has to do with them. Ultimately it will bring you closer and extend your knowledge of what love really is. I on the other hand have the honor of learning  a whole language with out classes or having to travel to another country. That in itself is a blessing (I realized much later on).

Here I am extremely welcoming and open to another’s life because I am that in-tuned with them. Its beautiful. I do have to thank my dad for being there and Cosmo for preparing me for the insignificant  things that I would have learned on my own anyway. I must say there is nothing like actually going through it and not reading how to go through it. Its amazing and something I would not trade in for the world.

10.11.11 ♥ 39
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Zoom
08.13.11 ♥ 1
Zoom I’m excited to be able to deliver this news because its a secret I’ve kept in. Cosmetic companys won’t pitch it to you because that’s the key to your business. But I discovered it a lonnnng time ago. I also picked it up as a young girl who honors her mother and growing (unfortunately) to be just like her. It’s not the biggest revelation but its one that will probably help MOST females who fell in love with make-up. My mother is turning 57 in December and her skin I must say is flawless. Although she could probably get her eyebrows waxed to help her out. Her skin alone has always been close to perfect. Not to mention the jump start she has being a member of the melanin family. She is aging gracefully so its kind of unfair. But one of the biggest secrets we’ve kept as the Davis family that keeps our skin glowing…Is the amount of make-up we use. The percentage starts at 0-30%. In terms of the basics (eye liner,mascara) we used little to no foundation/concealer. That will and is the key to keeping your skin fresh. There is not one moisturize or face primer in the world that can prevent the inevitable damage that gunk will cause. Nothing. The sooner you become comfortable with your heat bumps,random scars, natural skin tone ,etc. You will make your life easier. We are human beings, we are not suppose to look like porcelain dolls in the morning. If you feel like you have bad skin I can guarantee it that applying a flew layers will not make it any better. So please ladies fall in love with natural beauty again we can’t always be “camera ready”.

I’m excited to be able to deliver this news because its a secret I’ve kept in. Cosmetic companys won’t pitch it to you because that’s the key to your business. But I discovered it a lonnnng time ago. I also picked it up as a young girl who honors her mother and growing (unfortunately) to be just like her. It’s not the biggest revelation but its one that will probably help MOST females who fell in love with make-up.

My mother is turning 57 in December and her skin I must say is flawless. Although she could probably get her eyebrows waxed to help her out. Her skin alone has always been close to perfect. Not to mention the jump start she has being a member of the melanin family. She is aging gracefully so its kind of unfair.

But one of the biggest secrets we’ve kept as the Davis family that keeps our skin glowing…Is the amount of make-up we use. The percentage starts at 0-30%. In terms of the basics (eye liner,mascara) we used little to no foundation/concealer. That will and is the key to keeping your skin fresh. There is not one moisturize or face primer in the world that can prevent the inevitable damage that gunk will cause. Nothing. The sooner you become comfortable with your heat bumps,random scars, natural skin tone ,etc. You will make your life easier. We are human beings, we are not suppose to look like porcelain dolls in the morning. If you feel like you have bad skin I can guarantee it that applying a flew layers will not make it any better.

So please ladies fall in love with natural beauty again we can’t always be “camera ready”.

08.06.11 ♥ 4
Zoom Heres the thing when I was growing up I was always the “skinny” one, ranging around a size 0 when my peers were on their way to 3’s and 4’s. Although now I know this was from sexual activity and that’s OK. But what I didn’t realize is that I was normal size. I wasn’t over weight or under I was where I was suppose to be. It didn’t help that everyone I hung around was 2-3 years older than me. So although I was ahead of my maturity I was not “ahead” in size. And according to them (which put a dent in my self-esteem for awhile) there was something wrong with my growing process.  Besides the fact that I was a very athletic little girl. If I wasn’t climbing trees, I was racing neighbors, or playing double dutch (I was a pro all through jhs). As far as the adults concern was I was right on track and thankfully not obese. But still on my side of town it was always a factor to be thick and voluptuous. The point that my mother was a well endowed young women, still is till this day, might I add a well endowed grown women. With eight kids. It was always expected of us (her 5 daughters) to carry out her (strong) genes and be just as thick if not thicker.  I remember being teased for being a size 5 and I kid you not that I brag till this day about fitting a 10 because of those jokes. I just find it interesting to come across women who pride themselves in being a size 4 and 6. Now taking a look at my photo I look no bigger than a 5 and weighing between 125-135 pounds. I consider myself small. I am small. But in all honesty I am wayyy too thick for a run way and that is where my confusion begins. OK I am clearly not the tallest (5’4 holla back) but with some 6 inches I can pose as a super model.  I just think there is something extremely wrong with that. Is weight social,cultural  or career based. What happen to judging an individual on a circumstantial rate? I’m curious to know how your weight is judged? Do you believe women of a certain size get a special hall pass or if some receive a detention pass with no reason at all? Who defines thick? Who defines skinny?  Remember at some point in time we were all judged on our size so be nice.

Heres the thing when I was growing up I was always the “skinny” one, ranging around a size 0 when my peers were on their way to 3’s and 4’s. Although now I know this was from sexual activity and that’s OK. But what I didn’t realize is that I was normal size. I wasn’t over weight or under I was where I was suppose to be. It didn’t help that everyone I hung around was 2-3 years older than me. So although I was ahead of my maturity I was not “ahead” in size. And according to them (which put a dent in my self-esteem for awhile) there was something wrong with my growing process. 

Besides the fact that I was a very athletic little girl. If I wasn’t climbing trees, I was racing neighbors, or playing double dutch (I was a pro all through jhs). As far as the adults concern was I was right on track and thankfully not obese. But still on my side of town it was always a factor to be thick and voluptuous. The point that my mother was a well endowed young women, still is till this day, might I add a well endowed grown women. With eight kids. It was always expected of us (her 5 daughters) to carry out her (strong) genes and be just as thick if not thicker. 

I remember being teased for being a size 5 and I kid you not that I brag till this day about fitting a 10 because of those jokes. I just find it interesting to come across women who pride themselves in being a size 4 and 6. Now taking a look at my photo I look no bigger than a 5 and weighing between 125-135 pounds. I consider myself small. I am small. But in all honesty I am wayyy too thick for a run way and that is where my confusion begins. OK I am clearly not the tallest (5’4 holla back) but with some 6 inches I can pose as a super model. 

I just think there is something extremely wrong with that. Is weight social,cultural  or career based. What happen to judging an individual on a circumstantial rate? I’m curious to know how your weight is judged? Do you believe women of a certain size get a special hall pass or if some receive a detention pass with no reason at all? Who defines thick? Who defines skinny? 

Remember at some point in time we were all judged on our size so be nice.

08.05.11 ♥ 137
Zoom Its was a pleasure to be able to participate in a store that I’ve grown up in buying books. Nicholas Variety store on 560 Fulton st Brooklyn, NY across from McDonalds has been a favorite of mine since I was little. I loved sneaking in there to buy $3 books and leave during closing hours.I just loved the whole vibe and flavor of the store. So you can image how it feels to be apart of their establishment.  Sunday was a fundraiser fashion show that I took place in as a designer. It is my second fashion show with the store and definitely not the last. What I love most is their support for their community and their love for their own. I believe if they made it to the top they would bring everyone with them. Their loyalty and commitment will allow me to reciprocate my time. They are always welcoming and are very open to ideas. I am constantly seeing an event going on in their store and its amazing how they’ve been doing it for so long.  In the show was a designer who specializes in sportswear, her aesthetic really blew me away. I was so impressed with her eye I haven’t seen her kind of style in a long time. Here you can scan through her portfolio and get a feel of what I’m saying. The way she manipulates shapes and colors are amazing, she really knows how to execute her vision. From seeing her clothes in person to looking through her portfolio her sketches actually match her results.  It was another day full of networking and I can’t wait to officially be home so I can have nights like these fill in my weekends.

Its was a pleasure to be able to participate in a store that I’ve grown up in buying books. Nicholas Variety store on 560 Fulton st Brooklyn, NY across from McDonalds has been a favorite of mine since I was little. I loved sneaking in there to buy $3 books and leave during closing hours.I just loved the whole vibe and flavor of the store. So you can image how it feels to be apart of their establishment. 

Sunday was a fundraiser fashion show that I took place in as a designer. It is my second fashion show with the store and definitely not the last. What I love most is their support for their community and their love for their own. I believe if they made it to the top they would bring everyone with them. Their loyalty and commitment will allow me to reciprocate my time. They are always welcoming and are very open to ideas. I am constantly seeing an event going on in their store and its amazing how they’ve been doing it for so long. 

In the show was a designer who specializes in sportswear, her aesthetic really blew me away. I was so impressed with her eye I haven’t seen her kind of style in a long time. Here you can scan through her portfolio and get a feel of what I’m saying. The way she manipulates shapes and colors are amazing, she really knows how to execute her vision. From seeing her clothes in person to looking through her portfolio her sketches actually match her results. 

It was another day full of networking and I can’t wait to officially be home so I can have nights like these fill in my weekends.

07.26.11 ♥ 26