Its interesting to watch yourself transform and grow through a relationship. It can also be comical to be quoted on constantly. I have had to go back on my words and actions so many times to count, because of my real progression in opinions and outlooks. To compare what I thought and felt in the beginning of my relationship to now is almost laughable. But much more interesting as I stated to be able to take note of my growth through my relationship.
I was always one to read magazines and plenty online articles. I was obsessed with being a “good girlfriend” and perfect lover. I was all about preparing myself and being ahead of the game. Little did I know that my fathers teachings and my own vigorous research was no preparation for what I actual undertook for 4 years.
I became more familiar with the Nigerian culture after I fell madly in love with my partner Shola. It never dawned across me until after I realized I couldn’t live without this person that I couldn’t possibly love this person without loving every thing that had to do with them. Including their family and background. In the beginning it was more of a I-need-to-get-by and generally I wasn’t yet interested in where he came from. But what happens when you grow with someone you are forced to intertwine who they really are; their culture especially. Of course you are not obliged to take on anyone’s lifestyle especially when its by force. But what I grew to learn is that when you REALLY love someone you want to be apart of everything that has to do with them. Ultimately it will bring you closer and extend your knowledge of what love really is. I on the other hand have the honor of learning a whole language with out classes or having to travel to another country. That in itself is a blessing (I realized much later on).
Here I am extremely welcoming and open to another’s life because I am that in-tuned with them. Its beautiful. I do have to thank my dad for being there and Cosmo for preparing me for the insignificant things that I would have learned on my own anyway. I must say there is nothing like actually going through it and not reading how to go through it. Its amazing and something I would not trade in for the world.
